Thought Disorder

Thursday, March 30, 2006

and if i could see you for one more time?

hey seriously when i harboured that thought, no kidding, there was a slight tinge of excitement within me.

this morning was badly kicked off with the case of my missing hair wax, and i frankly cannot survive a day without hair wax. plus the wax was recently bought, so i was relatively annoyed and had to make do with some emergency gel well-hidden at a corner on the table.

i brought it to school and plain forgot about bringing it home. ):

hell was the day long mine ended at 9.30 at night and i was like totally, woah! sluggish.

you know something? sometimes it's hard to ignore how your friends feel.

10:58 PM

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

operation pc is just too much exhilaration to take!(:

i love felfeltay. we have too many great ideas.

11:27 PM

Monday, March 27, 2006

i'd thought i'll rant for a while. like hey, i'm sorry if i'm rudely blasphemous or impious, but i'd thought it would be best for both worlds. (and, hopefully!) just purely the light at the end of the tunnel.

and all, all i really want is you.

best describe me with jaded. y'know the days are passing incredibly quickly it's like, hey i don't have time for practically everything.

10:59 PM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

junkie, no?

you probably couldn't see me for the lights. don't i blend well in them? and what's with your light. hey, no joke, it irks to the core of my being.

en route to an obscure destination.

ps: i'm human too, in case you plain forgot about it.

10:05 PM

Friday, March 24, 2006

well do you know what is H8MAIL.

it's something cliche, something that goes like this. a H8MAIL a day keeps the c______ away. doesn't it hold utmost truth.

and i feel this increased amount of evilness churning within me. not like i could help it in some way. (because you made it that way) and so, this. last resort. i can successfully read you like a book. it reads, "HIT ME BABEH." aren't i fulfilling this dream of yours. aren't i. you need to anticipate more than just this.

today's saying: go be a dobby.
today's honest factoid: flea's blooday gay.

12:33 AM

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

today's flavour:

a totally kiddy cake topped off with an ab-fab elmo toy.

my main target is apparently the toy. i think i have a huge crush on elmo. (and i hope it's just some franticism that i'll eventually rid of)

school's getting awfully boring with the extra load of projects weighing me down and those sleep-deprived nights and becoming increasingly listless and restless during lessons, i think a breakdown is impending.

line up to shoot me! i'm like breathless already.

insignificant issues just enjoy lingering in my mind. i hate to probe but if i don't, i can't do anything better. and i think i'm a bad consolation, in other words, i'd rather be out of the picture. or am i just sulky.

perhaps i'm better off without nerve-wrecking stuffs up there.

wannabe supermodel.

9:36 PM

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

some things just make me so appalled.

school has been semi-soso, and with anfy's scoldings from today (because chyng and i were talking and laughing heartily yesterday without giving a hoot about her and today i just merely muttered the word shit), i can finally assert decidedly that I REALLY H___ HER and oh god please make her disintegrate in hell.

flea:anfyさんはいつ死にますか ?
anfy:そろそろ。車で倒おしたいですね!

it'd be fantabulous if it really materialises. (i'm evil hahaha)

10:53 PM

Sunday, March 19, 2006

relate pseudo vjcian to richard.

i think he's pretty cool and nice to talk to! (X i'd bet fate would allow us to cross paths again (since he's a funky loner, chill!)

turning 20 is something not very hot to think about.

anyway, yaye today was semi ab-fab like we gotta play ball for a few hours and make two brand new friends. we were late for tuition for about half an hour?! then after that we roamed randomly at bugis street and photowhored on the bus (which received many rude stares). yaye.

god will you look at what i've left to finish tonight! freaking jianbao, math assignment, and 6 dumb projects! no way am i going to touch those projects. they're of utmost irritation.

i'm happy.

10:35 PM

Saturday, March 18, 2006

mum my teeth is in pain.

so is my fat finger and so is my left arm.

and uhm the so-called holidays were largely spent on co practices, which was utterly boring and energy-ripping. the worst thing is i haven't even embarked on my homework, mainly physics journal (why do we even need one), math, and jianbao (i bought my newspaper on tuesday and am lazy to touch it). i desperately need a pick-me-up.

cindy's mp3 isn't working on my comp for goodness sake.

(anyway i might be moving this space anytime. wait till brilliance strikes me.)

i'll just leave you with that. off to class.

12:42 PM

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

cindy the unusually-nice sold me an mp3 at only 15. and it's probably of the ideal (but small) storage size (because of the crazy fact that i love replaying my favourite songs a zillion times) and coincidentally i've been on the lookout for one that doesn't cost a bomb so that i can bring it along when i go for trips. but obviously it isn't zen or ipod.

someday i'll buy a 1gb zen micro. yes i will.

and this.

uhm and i'm lazy to talk about today.

10:21 PM

Monday, March 13, 2006

out with amelia today! i think since she also signed up for chinese tuition today, we'll be getting to see each other weekly, which is a fantastic thing(:

and damn, why didn't i bring my camera? but anyway, there's still next week, the week after next and etcetera!

12:59 AM

Thursday, March 09, 2006

today's relevation: passing both physics and japanese.

thankfully.OMGZORS(:

whatever pick-me-up you offer me, i'm still feeling completely sluggish. and you're just an idiotic fool who is unable to grasp hold of yourself, plus your fluctuating emotions. so i'm like, hey i'm just going to chuck you aside and mind my own business like why should i be bothering about others. i don't see validity there.

chyng reckons i can crack any hangman question so she's pretty annoyed (because she can't, hahaha) and refuses to play with me, unless i beg her to. when i say i beg her to, i really beg her.

how on earth can i survive the ordeal of insipid lessons without my latest favourite entertainment, hangman?

hangman reminds me of nat. :D

8:42 PM

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

today was perhaps the happiest day i've had, mainly because i was just feeling purely happy and JAP WAS UTTERLY SLACK. we just had discussion for our project (which somehow looks fun) for the entire two hours! (:

and our group was indulging in gaying around. i suggested some totally lame ideas for the presentation and it resulted in us bursting out in extreme laughter. guess what? even mx and zy are influenced by my lameness (?) and they're starting to be infinitely lame. the worst thing is they tell me, hey you know i'm feeling lame.

so anyway. HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY MICHELLE SEETOH(: we all love you!

the cake looks delectable doesn't it. but the candle was horridly placed at a horrendous position.

the car journey to the hawker centre!(as in featured in our presentation) i think the scribbles remind me of elmo's world.

love is saying yes i'll let go.

9:57 PM

Monday, March 06, 2006

what drives me forth is the anticipation of that memorable day when i'll finally deign to pick up my phone, pluck up my courage and send that ohsoimportant message.

but i suppose it'll turn out to be utterly catastrophic or, looking on the good side, perfectly sunny. with fluffy clouds running swiftly across the sky. (maybe the world will feel like it has stopped spinning)

(:

so anyway we had our trip to the parliament house today and it was undoubtedly filled with excitement and curiosity. well it was awkwardly solemn in there and i caught full views of our prime minister/senior minister/minister for defence/minister for education etcetera. :D

yay it was really food for thought and uh, a once in a lifetime opportunity? but my dad says that i CAN grow up to be a politician. which i blatantly know i can NEVER make the mark and uhm i'm just aiming to write (because it's my, passion? or some sort.)

and frankly i hate to decide.

oh yeah feltay i admire your bravery for finally adding _______ and i could assert that it was no easy feat. wished you could share some of your bravery with me so i could just, feel happier?

or perhaps not.

11:07 PM

Sunday, March 05, 2006

sinful.

thoughts harressing my mind, prompting a rebellion in full swing. thoughts that never occurred to be sinful. thoughts that looked almost normal. thoughts that reminded me, i'm still human.

where's the solution to purge these awful thoughts?

i'm not sure. sometimes i feel i really need to seek solace in God but sometimes i just feel the need to be independent.

as i came out from ebs, i became much more aware of my thoughts and utterances and surprisingly neutral to everything around me. but it's probably for only a short span of time, say a day? or for even a pathetic hour. won't it be great that i could feel this way every moment of my life? i hate to stray, to think that, hey i'm just a junkie in your lives what more can i do.

and this is how i suppose i perceive my life to be.

anyhow, no i haven't became darker or some sort.

11:01 PM

Saturday, March 04, 2006

can you assure me that i so do not comprehend myself plus my life.

we didn't manage to get ____'s present today because i (maybe chyng as well) was feeling pretty broke and uhm partly laziness and time contraint played a part too. SO anyway i finally got bfg's long long long awaited shoes that cost me a freaking 20. and i was feeling rather disconcerted. ): that i lost 20 bucks, just like THAT.

was so awfully exhausted for the entire week that i was desperately trying to open my heavy drooping eyes during tuition today.

well life now feels relatively monotonous. can't help it. can't express the insipidity in my fiery, raging mind through my confabulation and re-enactment of certain follies that i think i might have mindlessly done. how nice if you could overlook them, grant me another opportunity to replay them all over again, this time with me writing the script.

not if i could help it.

yeah i suppose i'll never try to acknowledge the masquerades of personas or the garbled statements flowing out. not anymore.

i'm tired, if you guys are in the dark. and this place might just bid eternal farewell to you in no time, or perhaps not.

capeesh?

9:37 PM

Thursday, March 02, 2006

horridly screwed chemistry viva and jap test today ):

anyway uhm i think i'm pretty wrong about my initial insane surge of feelings because now it has been justified and it feels like total liberation. He puts us back on the purportedly accurate path we are destined to walk.

and that's absolutely good.

um i swear that the heavy eyelids symptoms that are occurring frequently in classes, especially lectures in the comfortable auditorium, are completely unintentional. school's really crazy now. maybe it's me, i'm the cause of my forty winks.

i swear i'll sleep at 9 tonight.

8:39 PM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.